No more half measures, Walter.

daeneryus:

hot things to say during sex:

  • aw man i shot marvin in the face
  • silly caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords
  • you got two jobs; kiss good, and make sure my hair don’t get wet
  • the d is silent
  • [faking Italian with a southern accent] bon jorno
  • BECAUSE IT’S SO MUCH FUN JAN
when ur mom comes home early and u gotta change back from ur shark form QUICK

grawly:

archerdan:

grawly:

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when its just a false alarm and ur mom isnt home yet

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it seems my gif has finally found a use

grawly:

grawly:

i have this 17 second 3d animation of a humanoid shark in a flannel shirt and jeans dancing and i have no idea what to do with it

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Kelly: I shouldn't eat these onion rings, they have been sitting in the freezer for months
Kelly: They have a distinctive freezer-y taste
Kelly: They've been open in there for months
Kelly: Next to the dead mice
Kelly: Which were also open
Kelly: They repulse me, I shouldn't eat them
Kelly: *eats another onion ring*

The National live at KDHX, 9/7/13 (x)

oh-so-pleasant:

Hobby: announcing to the room that I heard a Wilhelm scream in the movie we’re watching.

Hobby #2: explaining to the room what a Wilhelm scream is.

Hobby #3: accepting that no one cares about popular stock noises in cinematic history.

archiemcphee:

Forget Google Glass, Android Wear, Smartwatches or contact lenses that give you night vision. Instead let’s talk about the awesomeness that is this 17th century Chinese abacus ring. It’s wearable tech from the Qing Dynasty, perhaps the world’s oldest smart ring.
Measuring a mere 1.2 centimeter-long by 0.7 centimeter-wide, the miniature abacus is a fully functional counting tool, but it’s so tiny that using it requires an equally dainty tool, such as a pin, to manipulate the beads, which are each less than one millimeter long.

"However, this is no problem for this abacus’s primary user—the ancient Chinese lady, for she only needs to pick one from her many hairpins."

[via Fashionably Geek and Gizmodo]

archiemcphee:

Forget Google Glass, Android Wear, Smartwatches or contact lenses that give you night vision. Instead let’s talk about the awesomeness that is this 17th century Chinese abacus ring. It’s wearable tech from the Qing Dynasty, perhaps the world’s oldest smart ring.

Measuring a mere 1.2 centimeter-long by 0.7 centimeter-wide, the miniature abacus is a fully functional counting tool, but it’s so tiny that using it requires an equally dainty tool, such as a pin, to manipulate the beads, which are each less than one millimeter long.

"However, this is no problem for this abacus’s primary user—the ancient Chinese lady, for she only needs to pick one from her many hairpins."

[via Fashionably Geek and Gizmodo]

mothbug:

So a new species of snake (Pseudocerastes urarachnoides) was recently discovered in southern Iran.

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Its common name is the spider-tailed horned viper because its tail is literally a fucking spider. This salty motherfucker has a spider (well, a VERY convincing spider-shaped lure) for a tail. I’d try to get on its level but I don’t know if that’s even possible. 

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Spider snake. Snake spider. Nature isn’t even in the neighborhood of fucking around. 

kgm42986:

izziesworldofizzie:

stagecoachjessi:

Classic Hollywood Bloopers

And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:

These are WONDERFUL